Seasonal Resolve

Written by Jonah Lisa

New Year’s Resolutions tend to get a bad wrap these days.  By the time we’ve got busy lives and kids and the thrill of a drunken night ringing in the New Year has long worn off, we’ve become cynical about making resolutions.  Most of us don’t even bother.  And if we do, we might do so with a sigh and half the feeling that resolutions are kind of silly.  Who really keeps them anyway? 

Let’s put that cynicism to bed for a minute and try to take back resolutions this year.  

After all there’s something really natural and incredibly useful about contemplating the past year and considering what we’d like to improve upon in our lives.  I’ve felt it strongly this year.  That sense of new beginning.  But I’m so culturally wired and the backlash is so strong that I still have that knee-jerk reaction against resolutions.  What gives?  I think I just need a paradigm shift.

I’ve spent some time noodling it and I think I’ve put my finger on follow-through being the problem.  While it’s great to look back and assess an entire year, thinking about the same goals for a year can be daunting.  Let’s be generous, most new year’s resolutions last until, what, March?  Well, instead of calling that a failure because we didn’t last the whole year, let’s just shorten the duration of the resolution and all it a success!   

Let’s focus on shorter-term, seasonal resolutions.  It’s a Win-Win!

We get to bask in that fabulous new start feeling, use the motivation of the calendar to make some changes and actually feel a sense of accomplishment by succeeding over 3 or 4 months.   Then we can reassess in March or April and make new resolutions right when the New Year motivation is waning and we’re starting to feel another natural beginning as Spring arrives!

For me those Spring resolutions will probably carry through summer, too and by September I’ll be feeling all different--ready to begin a school year and hunker down for the coming winter and change my focus yet again.  Time for new resolutions! 

This seasonal approach just feels way more organic to me and way less of a remedy for disappointment.  It also allows me to be more specific about the resolutions I set, which motivational experts will tell you is a key to success.  

Instead of being vague and saying I’m going to eat more healthy foods and exercise more--whatever that means--I can really target some specifics that feel right seasonally.  This year I’m resolving to cross-country ski more and learn to cook dried beans.  Doesn’t that feel way more doable?  In the spring I may aim for hiking to the top of some local mountains and drinking more green smoothies.  See what I mean?  

It’s really just a small mental shift but it takes resolutions back from “why bother” land and sets you up for success.  

Remember Blue Laws?

Written by Jonah Lisa

Back when most of us were children, blue laws were in effect throughout the country to preserve Sunday as a day of worship and rest.  

Isn’t that quaint?  

In some areas, all stores would be closed but other places had arcane rules that allowed for the purchase of certain items but not others.  I recall the famous example used when Blue Laws were being dismantled of being able to buy a hammer, but not nails.  Or was it the other way around?  And even after blue laws were repealed, you still couldn’t buy alcohol in many places on Sunday because, well you shouldn’t be drinking on a Sunday anyway!  You should be in church!

But us liberty-minded Americans, we bristled at the idea of commerce being dictated by religious beliefs.  We didn’t like being told what we should and shouldn’t be doing on a Sunday.  I’ll hammer and nail things if I want to, damnit!  And even as a kid, I completely agreed.  So down came the silly blue laws and the people cheered.  YAY!  

And then they went to Piggly Wiggly for a soda pop.  And some nails.  

As the years passed more and more stores were open on Sundays until there was really no difference between Sunday and any other day of the week.  As an adult I got used to the idea that I could buy and do pretty much whatever I wanted to on any day of the week.   Ah, the freedom!  I never thought much about those old blue laws again.  They were just silly rules that got in our way.  

Flash forward 30 or so years later when I moved from New York (the city that never sleeps) to a small, rural, mountain town in far eastern Idaho.  And low and behold, all the stores were closed on Sundays.  

Grocery store?  CLOSED.  Drug store?  CLOSED.  Liquor Store?  DEFINITELY CLOSED.  The only things open on a Sunday were church and the ski hill.  

You gotta have priorities.  

At first, I was shocked.  I’d lived in Dallas, New York and Los Angeles.  I didn’t know this went on anywhere except for Israel, where everything is closed on Saturday, and Muslim countries during Ramadan!  I understood the reason.  Half of the population of my new home belong to the LDS church and no business run by an LDS member wanted to ask people to come in and work on a Sunday.  That’s a day to be with family, and yes, to go to church.  

But for some reason--maybe because I’d just moved from the hustle and bustle of The Big City, or maybe because I’d matured, or maybe because I was broke--I really didn’t mind.  And I started noticing something interesting.  Not many of the tree-hugging, progressive “move-in’s” that you’d expect to balk at a religion-based mandate seemed to mind either.  Everyone was A-OK with it. 

Sure, it took some getting used to.  You have to plan ahead a little.  But for very different reasons the people of this valley all seem to agree.  There’s nothing wrong with having one measly day of the week when you aren’t being tempted to consume.  Even more so this time of year!

It slows down the pace of life.  It alleviates the expectation of getting just as much done on Sunday as any other day.  It removes lots of self imposed expectations.  It means business owners and retail workers can get out and enjoy the day, too.  And sure, go to church if they want to, or head up to the ski hill, or take a hike, or just stay home and maybe even unplug.  Whether for religious reasons or not, it IS wonderful to set aside a day for rest, relaxation, or renewal in whatever form that takes for you.

And hey, if you find that you really need an egg or a cup of sugar?  Well, that’s what neighbors are for.

We have another, even more a-typical, kind of blue law here in the mountains as well.  On any given day, after a heavy snowfall, you may walk up to a shop or restaurant and find the door locked tight and a sign swinging in the window that simply reads:  

POWDER DAY.  

BACK TOMORROW.

Like the Sunday store closures, I’ve learned to embrace and appreciate Powder Days.  In my opinion, we’d be a happier, healthier society if we all took more of them.  

Just Make It

Written by Jonah Lisa

Us bloggy types have a tendency to collect projects the way some people collect teacups, or stamps.  We bookmark, we favorite, we clip, like and digg.  

And now, we pin.  

It’s a strange compulsion, an obsession almost, this hoarding of ideas.  And the sheer number of things we mark “for later” almost insures the fact that most of them will never be looked at again, let alone made.  It’s a great big internet out there and so the ideas just pile up, like plastic bottles in a landfill.  

The scary thing is, that landfill is my computer...and MY MIND!  And both of them are getting full!

No doubt, there are beautiful things to build and sew and repurpose, and places to go, and things to buy and look for at thrift shops, and sayings to remember and bedrooms to covet.  But are we creating stress and unrealistic expectations in our lives as we create these lists?  Are we missing the point?

I don’t know the answer.  Frankly, this brand of pop psychology has already gone way beyond my pay grade.  Interesting to think about though, isn’t it?   What are we saving all these brilliant ideas for?  What rainy day?  What chunk of time?   

I can tell you this much, since I’m probably not going to stop collecting neato ideas any time soon, I better start whittling down the lists the only other way I know how.  And Fall and Winter Unplugged Sundays are going to help me do it.

You see, this past Unplugged Sunday I tried a novel approach to dealing with the lists...

l chose a few ideas: a project for me, a craft project for the kids, a cool snack idea and a dinner recipe from my multiple, massive lists and do you know what I did?   

I MADE them!  

I know.  Out there, right?  I’d almost forgotten this was the point and not the pinning and digging and bookmarking itself.  

During the previous week I spent some of the time I might normally be surfing the net, surfing my lists instead.  Then I picked my Sunday projects and made sure I had all the materials on hand.  I printed out the recipe and some photos for the kids’ project so there was no reason to turn on the computer “just to check” anything.

I started off with a simple but fun milk and cookies snack brought to you by Pinterest.

They loved the novelty of it, as I knew they would when I first pinned it.  Then I got them started on a cool Dia de los Muertos craft project that had been bookmarked in my browser for at least a year.

And while they painted to their hearts content, I played with yarn and felt and ended up with something beautiful inspired by one of the talented artists on Etsy.

Another Pin brought us dinner, but we ate the photo op.

I’m not sure I think this will really make my all my lists shrink, but I do know it was a nice  and needed reminder of the actual purpose of pinning and saving the ideas in the first place.  

To DO them.  To MAKE them.  To VISIT, and SEE, and CREATE.  

It also made for a perfect, rainy, Unplugged Sunday and I imagine, as the weather turns colder and wetter here, I’ll be using this formula again.

Saying Yes

Written by Jonah Lisa

As a mother and wife, I am asked so many questions each and every day that life can sometimes feel like a long string of NOs.

Can we finger paint?

Will you bake us a cake? 

Can I have a lollipop? 

Do you want to go for a walk? 

Can we go to the park? 

Will you read me another book? 

Will you play soccer with me? 

Can we go swimming? 

Did you call the insurance guy? 

Will you play Candy Land with me? 

Will you play Candy Land with me again? 

Water Balloons!

I try to say yes as often as possible but children arenʼt known for their impeccable timing. For that matter, neither are husbands. And with all the absolutely necessary daily and weekly tasks, making room for YES can become a challenge.

Yes takes time. Yes takes patience. Yes can be messy. And loud.

So Iʼm trying something new with my family. On Sundays, Iʼm trying to make a place for YES.

Getting into the right frame of mind is the first step. I remind myself Sunday morning of the kind of day I really want to have. Unplugging from screen and information overload is wonderful but I donʼt simply want an unplugged day, I want a day full of something better.

I want a day full of YES!

Can we build a fire in the firepit? YES! 

Can we have blueberry pie for dessert? YES! 

Can we camp out in the yard tonight? YES! 

I want a day with the time, energy and fortitude to do the things I may be too tired, or busy, or scheduled or just not prepared to do during the week. I want a day of being fully present with my husband and kids. And an Unplugged Sunday is really the perfect day to do it.

Hereʼs the little secret to making this work...do not share your plans with the rest of your family. Chances are, if you tell them ahead of time that youʼre going say yes all day, youʼll end up eating ice cream for dinner with a table full of naked people. At least thatʼs what would happen at my house.

Just set your intention, be open and prepared for whatever they bring to you, and let things unfold naturally. Iʼve found that it takes the stink off of No throughout the weeks in the middle, too. And if nothing else, itʼs a fun experiment to try out every once in while when morale is low. 

Avisiting We Go

Written by Jonah Lisa


Almost every culture throughout history has had some tradition that involved visiting your neighbors, maybe even taking them gifts. The Norse did it on Christmas; the Scottish and Chinese did it on New Years Eve and Day, respectively; the Germans hung flowers on neighbors’ doors for May Day; and then there’s the Jewish tradition of bikur cholim, visiting the sick.

Though most of us can’t quite remember the days when it was common here. We read books like Little House on the Prairie and Ann of Green Gables and feel nostalgic for the times when you always greeted new neighbors with a welcoming homemade pie or quick bread to eat while their cookware was still being unpacked. We long for the simplicity of a tight knit community that took care of their own.

The closest most of us come to it now is visiting a self-created cyber-neighborhood daily (well not on Sundays!). We check in on our favorite blogs, people we don’t even know but have come to feel close to, and we read Facebook to see what our old high school friends are doing. In fact, we probably know more about these people than the ones who live on our own block or subdivision. 

Something is upside down with that. Don’t you think?

What got me working toward setting things right side up again was pure coincidence. In the same season, we re-committed to Unplugged Sundays and I planted too much head lettuce in my garden.

Now that was the state of my garden a few weeks ago, but you can clearly see the fifteen heads of lettuce planted on the same day. I don’t know what I was thinking. My family was at salad over-load. I had to do something with it. And with an entire day free from distractions and plans, giving it to neighbors seemed like the perfect idea.

So...avisiting we went.

We cut and bagged 8 huge heads of red and green leaf right in the garden, loaded up the bike and started up the road, slowly making our way through the neighborhood on a Sunday afternoon.

Without exception, everyone was happy to see us. 

Some folks invited us in and we got to catch up on what was going on in their lives. Others had something going on and didn’t, so we chatted on the porch for a bit and moved on. We always had the excuse of more deliveries so it really didn’t matter. But we always had the time to go inside and accept some reciprocal hospitality if it was offered. 

Only a day as unharried as an Unplugged Sunday could really accommodate such spontaneity.

We talked gardening and sewing and sports, and learned about a great new swimming hole we’ve never been to. We ate cookies and fruit, played with some dogs, and had a really wonderful time. Not a single person was put off by the surprise nature of the visit. Perhaps because we came bearing gifts. 

It all felt very old-fashioned. Like we were connecting to something old and lost, but something everyone we visited with was happy to have back for bit.

We were connecting.  

Connecting to real, flesh and blood human beings. We were solidifying old friendships, and making new ones, and sharing some bounty, and hopefully teaching our kids a small lesson about contributing to a community.

But above all the lofty ideals, it was fun. I felt like Santa Claus. 

I may even plant extra head lettuce next year, radishes too, just so we have a good excuse to go avisiting again.

Home Spa Night

Written by Jonah Lisa

I usually shower more than once a week. I just want everyone to know that. But sometimes as a busy, work-at-home mom I find myself in the uncomfortable position of not knowing exactly when that last shower was. Was it Monday? Saturday? Yikes, was it last Thursday? Never mind shaving my legs, or trimming my toenails. Did my hair get washed?

One of the wonderful byproducts of Unplugged Sunday for me has been that I always seem to find the time on Sunday evening to care for my personal needs. During the week I can settle for less: a few quick, unmemorable Navy showers with a child’s face pressed against the glass. But Sunday is nice, uncluttered day for us that just sets the mood for an evening of self care.

Somehow it just takes the removal of internet, movies and to do lists to feel the freedom and space to prioritize myself. It’s always worth doing. I have never once found myself wishing I had skipped the long soak and read The Huffington Post instead. 

When I can take a full hour after the kids are asleep, at the end of our Unplugged Sunday, it’s really lovely, but It’s not always the full spa routine, and that’s fine. Even an extra 15 or 20 minutes to relax, spend some time alone, and be nice to my body can be rejuvenating.

Home Spa Night Routine:

• A relaxing drink. Pour a cup or glass of whatever helps you unwind. 

• Light a candle or two if that makes it feel special and more relaxing to you.

• Self-massage with an aromatherapy oil. Yes, oil before you get wet, not after. Trust me on this one. I learned it during an Ayurvedic cleanse and it makes a huge difference if you have dry skin. I like to use Sesame Oil with sweet orange essential oil added. Don’t use Toasted Sesame Oil unless you want to smell like an Asian noodle salad. 

• A long bath or shower. There’s nothing to pull you out. No one needs you. Take as much time as you want. 

• Wash your hair and give yourself a vigorous scalp rub. You can do an easy intense conditioning by just leaving your regular conditioner on for an extra long time. 

• Shave any bits you shave. Maybe even use your husband’s shaving cream instead of whatever soap is handy. 

• Exfoliate from top to bottom. Even scrub between those toes.

• Linger. Drink your drink. Read a book. Breathe. Remember the week and let go of anything you don’t want to carry with you into the next week.

• Give yourself a Facial. Wash, scrub, peel, poke, moisturize. Go the full cucumber or put chamomile teabags on your eyes. 

• Take care of all that Other Self-Maintenance that you usually don’t have time for: Clean your ears, pluck your eyebrows, cut your nails. 

• Add-on whatever “Extra Treatments” make you feel pampered. Paint your toenails, have some dark chocolate, make sure you have clean sheets on the bed. My mother always says, “Nothing feels better than clean sheets and shaved legs.”

• Repeat relaxing drink. 

Can I do these things for myself any night of the week?  Absolutely.  

Do I?  Never.  

Besides the fact that these things all feel wonderful and your skin & hair will thank you by looking that much better, it’s really about something bigger... 

Having time alone to end one week and start the next with intention.

As I slough off the dead skin it’s like sloughing off the past week with all its ups and downs and challenges and even joys. I’m done with all that and I’m moving on. It’s as if I’m saying, here is the demarcation line. When I step out of this shower, clean, I’m stepping into a new week, a new start, and a whole new set of possibilities.

If you had one hour to yourself, how would you relax and unwind?