The Winter of our Disconnect: A Book Review

Written by Renee

Unplugging for a day is one thing, but could you unplug for a week? Sometimes nature makes that decision for us. Could you unplug for one month, six months?

The very notion seems crazy in this day and age of googling everything under the sun (we're homeschoolers, I love Google) and social networking where many of us interact with our "real" friends. Not to mention that many of us rely on being plugged in to do the work that feeds our families.

So you can see why I was interested in reading The Winter of Our Disconnect: How Three Totally Wired Teenagers (and a Mother Who Slept with Her iPhone) Pulled the Plug on Their Technology and Lived to Tell the Tale. Yes, the title really is that long.

The idea seems almost implausible, and with teenagers to boot!

The Winter of Our Disconnect, written by Susan Maushart, is the story of one family's experience unplugging from electronic technology and media in their home for six months. No computers, digital music, tv, video consoles, cellular phones, etc...

I read the book this past summer and just knew it would be a great read to share with you all.

The big question of course, next to how did the author got her teenagers to agree to this scheme (she pays them), is what happens to this family when they dis"connect" from all that for six months?

I don't want to ruin the story for you (spoiler alert) but it turns out this family ends up more connected with each other, and nearby family and friends, because of disconnecting with the world at large.

Music - the actual instrument playing kind, board games, hospitality, and lots of reading return to their lives. In truth, so does lengthy landline phone conversations, but these are teenagers after all.

Of course this is what you hope will happen, at least I did. Isn't this the news we all want to hear? That there are brave souls who turn against the rising tide of non-stop electronic connectivity; and come out the other side not just alive but still loving each other.

The thing that I loved about the book, as much as the message, was the way the message was delivered. With hilarious "life with teenagers" anecdotes and personal story telling.

Not only does Maushart have you ROTFLing, she goes deeper than the surface story to discuss the science and psychology of technology in the modern world. How being connected 24/7 is changing the ways we relate to each other and the very way our brains our wired - for good and bad.

There are no foregone conclusions in this book. Maushart does not dismiss the use of technology in our lives. Instead her honest story telling and research cause us to question our own technology choices and near constant influence of media in our lives.

A couple points that really held my interest were the discussions of using media to medicate boredom and the additive qualities of certain technologies. Anyone who has wasted hours surfing the web (um... me) will appreciate the science and humor of these discussions.

There are many such moments in this book, sandwiched between LOL moments (Maushart uses these text anacronyms throughout the book to great effect), story and science, where the reader will pause and consider their own connectivity and how it affects their personal health and relationships.

Job well done by Maushart, if you ask me.

Another thing I loved about this book were all the Thoreau quotes and references. Over the past year I have been reading Walden; Or Life in The Woods and I loved how Maushart weaves Thoreau's classic story in with her own. Both writers venturing where few in their respective societies dared to go.

One of things initially misleading about this book, that you find out when reading is that the family does not unplug completely. Her school-aged teenagers did in fact use computers for their studies, just not at home. And Maushart herself used a computer for writing at her office. But they did so without the distractions of e-mail, Twitter, Facebook and other social media. Imagine the productivity!

A small, teensy (quibbling) criticism I have of the book is that the actual season this story takes place in is the Australian summer. The family is Australian/American and their summer is the Northern Hemisphere's winter, hence the "winter" part of The Winter of Our Disconnect. That felt a bit contrived to me. That is a minor detail in an otherwise fabulous read.

Our own lives revolve so much around computers - we earn a living as writers, photographers and programmers. Not to mention all the entertainment and media we access digitally. And having recently moved and being in a place of transition we connect with many of our "real" friends (not talking Facebook here) and our "tribe" via the Internet.

That being said, this book does challenge me to unplug for portions of the day. And for portions of our week - Unplugged Sunday. And maybe someday, if we ever do that long thru-hike we dream about, we may just disconnect for a whole season also.

Have you read anything recently that inspires you to unplug?

When the Honeymoon’s Over

Written by Renee

Several years ago my husband and I made the decision to do a family activity outdoors every week. Something more substantial than an evening walk and something we could all do together. We settled on a weekend hike as our activity, much like some families choose soccer or baseball.

Back then we had never heard of Unplugged Sunday and it wasn’t about being unplugged as much as it was about just being outdoors, together. Of course, because we were in the woods and weren’t big cell phone users to begin with (oh, how times have changed!) we were, by default, unplugged for that time.

Unplugging wasn’t difficult. And at first hiking wasn’t all that difficult either. 

The kids were young (3, 5 & 7) and so we stayed fairly close to home exploring easy urban and near-urban trails. That first summer our outings were a couple hours long and when it rained, we stayed home. In spite of hiking experience as young adults we were new to the outdoors with children and weren’t what I would call a hard core outdoors family. 

I liked our times together outdoors. I loved them in fact. I have always loved nature and as a gardener I especially appreciated discovering and identifying new plants, adding to my herbal knowledge whenever possible.

Our time spent outdoors was refreshing and revitalizing. It felt like we were doing something good for our kids, good for our relationships, and good for the environment. It was just a good feeling all around.

The kids grew (funny how they do that) and our legs and spirits sought longer hikes. A couple hours was not so satisfying and what started as a family outdoor activity every week evolved into one whole day a week outdoors. 

We made this change to account for our growing children and our collective need for more time and more exercise. And to account for the reality that finding longer hikes in interesting terrain required longer drives from home. 

We needed a whole day just to ensure we could get to the destination, have several hours to hike and then time to drive back before bed. 

At first this was good. 

The hikes were longer and the kids needed more encouragement but they hit their stride and loved that time outdoors. I loved the new scenery and regularly being in the mountains - the air, the sky, the trees, the water, the views - my spirit soared. 

Then summer hit in earnest and the hikes made me sweaty. Our drive to the mountains would take me past farmhouses with folks working in their gardens (I love gardening). We started to miss out on certain gatherings and other events because we had made this commitment to our health and to our family.

And that’s when the honeymoon was over. 

What started largely as a walk in the park had become a commitment, a discipline, a practice. One with great rewards to be sure (just like a good marriage) but one that required work nonetheless. 

I hit a wall that summer. I’m pretty sure it was that hike in the torrential downpour that pushed me over the edge. The hike that soaked me through and through and left me feeling discouraged, forlorn and full of self-pity.

I didn’t want to be spending one day each week (that’s almost 15% of my week, oh yes, I did the math) hiking. I wanted to write. I wanted to garden. I wanted to sit at home on my duff and drink tea all day. 

Or so I thought.

Thankfully, that summer I not only hit the wall but I turned the corner. Through the course of the summer, through good hikes and bad ones, with lots of time on the trail for thinking, I evaluated this commitment we had made. 

In the end, I came out the other side more determined and passionate about continuing this practice as a family. This wasn’t a forgone conclusion by the way, it’s just where I ended up after evaluating all my options and thinking creatively about how we spend our time. 

How did I find the “romance” again in our one day a week practice? How did I turn the corner from reluctant hiker to the happy hiker I once was? 

I think it was a combination of the following four things:

1. Taking a Break

Back when Damien was working a regular 9-5 job the weekends were reserved for together activities - hiking, hospitality, working on the house. 

That fateful summer, on a sunny Saturday in August, I took a break from all this togetherness and spent a day to myself in my garden while the family hiked. It was one of their most memorable hikes to date (not sure what that says) and I felt restored and revived in a way I hadn’t experienced on the trail for a while.

We had discussed and were prepared for me to take more regular breaks like this but it turns out I only needed that one. I loved being in my garden but I also missed the trail. Weekend hiking had become a part of who I was and I really did enjoy it. 

Taking a break showed me that. 

It also gave me time to consider the next point.

2. Evaluate your Practice

When I hit this point of discouragement and wondering if our weekly time hiking together was really worth it Damien and I had to ask and answer some hard questions. One of the questions we asked was does this practice serve us or do we serve it? 

In other words, are we doing this because we really believe in the benefits, it fits who we are and it’s something we value? Or are we doing it because we think we should, even though it no longer benefits us? 

Another part of this questioning period was comparing side by side the pros and cons. 

Most of this, to be honest, was done in my head. I was the one after all who hit the wall. In the end, the pros of continuing with our one day a week practice outweighed the cons. And I realized that this regular routine served our purposes and helped us meet our goals.

Coming to these conclusions though depended on some creative thinking. 

3. Be Creative

When I first hit the wall I thought it was physical. I just couldn’t hike that far. But when my six year old didn’t have the same problem (I’m a “normal”, healthy, thirties something woman) I realized it wasn’t my body that was sabotaging me. It was my mind.

It was my resentment about not gardening on those beautiful days, my doubts about the point of all this hiking, the feeling that my needs were not being met that slowed me down. It was mental, not physical.

Taking a break helped, so did honest evaluation of our goals but equally important was being creative with our time management during the week to make this weekend activity a priority. 

I scaled back my expectations for our backyard garden, scheduled my gardening for the weekdays, and discovered as much joy in our farm share and farmers markets as I did harvesting the small amount of produce from our tiny backyard garden. I still dream of large scale gardening but decided this was not that season in my life. 

We’re a homeschooling family and I realized that we could have a Monday recovery day - sleeping in, time for mama to read and drink tea, the whole works. We had that freedom I just needed to re-orient my thinking a bit. 

4. Surrender

I took a break. I asked hard questions. I creatively re-worked my commitments and my schedule and in the end I also surrendered. 

We don’t always like this word in our culture. To some people, it sounds like defeat. 

In my case it wasn’t defeat, it was letting go of some my expectations (for what weekends “should” look like) and embracing the joy and opportunity that was right in front of my face. 

It meant waking up to how good I had it. Learning to accept I have a husband who wants to be outdoors with his family every week for a whole day and he’s willing to do most of the work to make that happen. Not only that, but this was an activity my children loved doing with their father and it was healthy for us and brought us together as a family. Why exactly was I complaining about this? 

I can’t say it was the summer of my discontent but it was definitely a turning point for me. 

I realized it was ok to take breaks and ask honest questions about why we were doing what we were doing. I learned how to re-structure our weeks and adapt my previous habits to accommodate our family goals. 

And in the end I surrendered to the beauty of it all. To the beauty of our family outdoors together. The beauty of a regular time in nature, unplugged. And the beauty of sharing with my husband this activity he loves. 

I honestly haven’t looked back since. 

Now my husband’s talking about family thru hiking a long trail (yikes!). I’m thinking I may need to re-visit these lessons. 

Have you gone through a similar experience with either a family or individual practice? 

How did you turn the corner after hitting the wall?

Happy to Share With You

Written by Heather

Photo by Nicole

Today I am busy meeting a couple of deadlines, so the post I wanted to share with you will have to wait until next Friday. But I still want to leave you with some inspiring material and news from a few of our writers to head into your weekend with. 

Enjoy your visits with them, and be sure to say hello if you have the time!

Nicole - Based on the wild interest of her post, Be Prepared for the Trail: Make Your Own Bug Repellent, Nicole is sharing the follow-up recipe for a spray version (as you requested!) on her blog. Now you can Make Your Own Bug Repellent Spray!

Photo by Renee

Damien and Renee - What can I say about this husband and wife team? If ever you are lacking inspiration or motivation on creating the life of your dreams, spend a little time reading about the Tougas family adventures and you will see more clearly what truly matters in life. Currently, they are on a two week trip out west (sans children, a second honeymoon and business trip) as "Working Media" at Outdoor Retailer. 

Photo by Renee

Also on their trip they are fitting in some hiking, adventuring, and have enjoyed the hospitality of friends along the way. Their entire trip is being hosted by various friends they've met through blogging! And people say these online friendships aren't real...

Photo by Renee

To read more about this wonderful adventure they are on, through his and her perspective:

Visit Renee  - OR & Hospitality  ~ Out West

Visit Damien - Traveling West - Days 1 to 5 and OR Summer 2011 - Open Air Demo

Photo by Renee

Wishing you a wonderful time this weekend, wherever the adventure may take you. 

Why Outdoors? Why All Day?

Written by Renee


A few years ago our family made the conscious decision (ie: it doesn’t just “happen”) to spend one whole day each week outdoors together as a family. We call it one day a week.

We’re passionate about encouraging people to spend one day a week together in nature. And we’d love for other families to experience the incredible benefits we have realized from this practice.

And so when Heather and Adam started this blog - this idea of Unplugged Sunday - we wanted to be a part of it.

Unplugged Sunday is not just about the outdoors of course. The vision is broader than that and includes connecting spiritually, cooking and hospitality, creating and resting. A feast of possibilities for a day of family togetherness.

I love the idea of Unplugged Sunday. I love the practice of Unplugged Sunday.

Our family chooses to spend our “unplugged day” in the outdoors.

It’s a foundation piece to our weekly schedule. We plan other things around it and will only sacrifice that day we spend together in nature for emergencies or rare events. Even when life is in an upheaval, especially when life is like that, we spend a day in nature as a family.

Why Outdoors?

There’s a lot of things a family could do together for a day unplugged. They could go visit family (hopefully the tv isn’t blaring the whole time), attend church or some other spiritual gathering, do service in their community, spend the day preparing a gourmet meal to share with friends.

We do all of those things on a regular basis, just not on our outdoor day.

We choose the outdoors for our unplugged day because it integrates many of our family values and goals into one activity that we can all do together.

Learning to understand nature is part of our kids’ home education. The great cathedral of the outdoors is a spiritual experience. And spending a whole day in nature - talking, laughing, sometimes crying - connects us to each other in ways we have not experienced elsewhere.

Our family focuses on hiking specifically because it’s one of my husband’s passions and an activity he keenly wants to share with his family. Hiking is active and health promoting.

Perhaps most important of all, hiking is something we can all do together regardless of age or leg length.

How many other activities, in our modern society with age and sex segregated sports teams, can a family of five do together? Not many.

Why All Day?

That’s a good question. Why not just sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast, pack a lunch and go out for the afternoon?

Well, sometimes we do that. But not often.

Because we work, play and learn at home there are many distractions (even worthwhile ones) from just relaxing, unplugged at home together.

Some people are able to unplug at home. They are book readers, brunch eaters, and quite honestly, probably don’t have children who want to do something and not just sit around watching their parents read.

If our family doesn’t make a point to get out of the house we are either working in the kitchen (that’s my nearly full time day job and I like a break from it one day a week), taking care of home and yard, or on the computer in some capacity (my husband’s full time day job).

Unless the power goes out, we aren’t able to pull off truly unplugged days at home. So we avoid the temptation all together and pack up and leave.

Don’t get me wrong. We are able to relax at home and do so often. But most of our relaxing involves computers, the internet, and electronic devices of some sort. To get away from it all we truly need to get away from it all.

So now that I’ve answered Why Outdoors and Why All Day, I have a few questions for you.

• What is your favorite outdoor activity to do with your family?
• Is being outdoors together something you’d like to do more?
• What are some of the obstacles you face in doing that?

We’d like to help. In the coming months my husband Damien and I will be sharing here about how and why we do this with our three school aged children. We look forward to encouraging your family to get outdoors together.